I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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