I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
