so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
