haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize