you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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