Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
