is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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