i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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