loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
