I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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