Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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