Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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