im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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