Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize