the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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