We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
