just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
