I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
