dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize