i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
