can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
