There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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