Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize