I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Randomize
