We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
