Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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