We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
