There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize