so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize