Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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