okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
