That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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