Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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