gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize