singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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