So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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