Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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