if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize