how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
