she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
