college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
