why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
