Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
