Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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