Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
