Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
