I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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