Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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