I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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