did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
