i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
This toilet bowl is my home.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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