hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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