nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
