Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
