I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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