Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
