We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
