Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
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