he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I think people are normalizing furries
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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