Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
