I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
