I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
now i know why i became what i already was.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
