There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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