And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
